What's wrong with me? Why is it I avoid confrontation of any kind?

Maybe I just have a hard time defining the line that propels you to defend and stick up for yourself and what you believe in. Maybe I've just lost confidence in myself and the ability to believe what I think and feel is right. So I second guess myself. I can be convinced that the point I'm arguing is invalid. Give me any subject at all, I'll come up with my own conclusion and state reasons why I feel the way I do, and I guarantee 9 times out of 10, someone can convince me to change my views and opinions even if only slightly.

Maybe it was watching my mom fight with people during my childhood and how embarrassed I was... not for myself so much, but for her. While she was verbally berating the cashier or whoever, I would look at her and how mad she would get and how people around her would see her. Like a goddamn crazy woman I tell ya. And I think you lose a certain level of respect when you fly off the handle like that. People may fear you, but who wants that? You should want to be respected.

Meek and timid is no way to live, but how does one change that when they can't believe in themselves and when the people they need to believe in them, do anything but? When you're constantly shot down, chopped down, and having to constantly find the means to build yourself back up, this seems like an unattainable goal. A good analogy is what happens to an overweight drunk lady at the beach... here lemme help you...

In case you couldn't guess... I am the overweight drunk lady.